Religion-Part Two

I was a member of the religious right, you could definitely say. I was against abortion, though at the time I knew practically nothing about the issue. I hated gay people, though, I didn't know any. I believed in creationism and refused to learn anything about evolution. Thank God, no schools in the area (most likely in this state) actually teach evolution, not in Jr. High, nor in High School. I never learned a thing about evolution because my teachers didn't believe in it. At least, thats what they lead us to believe. I remember first debate about "Under God", this caused me to hate atheist. I couldn't think of a possible reason it should be excluded.

I got in arguments with who didn't hold my beliefs, trying to convert them.

I'm not sure when it happened, but I started changing. No, I'm not talking about puberty, I mean, the way I thought about everything started changing.

Perhaps this is what happens to most people. When you are a child you see everything in terms of black and white, right and wrong. I started seeing the shades of gray.

The first thing to change was my feeling about homosexuals. I stopped hating people because I no longer thought it was a choice. So, I tried to reconcile my new belief with the bible. Without a church to interpret things for me, this was pretty easy, I just had to throw out the old testament.

Jesus never said anything about hating homosexuals, about their inherent evil. Thats all I needed. Abortion was the next to go. Though, all I needed for that was logic, and to do a little research. I listened to arguments on both sides, and realized that no one was for abortion.

I was now pro-choice and didn't hate homosexuals, though I didn't believe that they should be able to marry. I mean, marriage is a religious ceremony right?

Around this time, I started realizing all of my political beliefs fell in the liberal category. This also put me at odds with other "born-again" Christians. Once again, I just had to throw everything out of the bible but the red words. The words of Christ... If I did this, I felt as if His words supported me.

Ah, around this time, my first relationship started. She was also a born-again Christian, though, she attended church. She certainly slowed the development of my religious beliefs. I had someone to reassure me before I could even start doubting the word of God. I even went to her church, and it wasn't too bad, until they started speaking in tongues. I don't know, it weirded me out. It always seemed phony to me as well. I couldn't believe in that. Everything at the church seemed so hollow, so meaningless...

All the rituals, the waving arms in the air, the singing, the dancing, the glossolalia, it seemed like a waste of time. Did this really get you closer to God? I felt closer to God in my own room, alone, with my bible, or in bed at night, having long discussions with God. I read in the bible that you should pray in your room with the door locked... That's what I wanted to do.

Then, I started losing the idea of creationism. The earth is 6,000 years old? Really?

My main argument against evolution was that it was a theory. "They shouldn't teach something that is just a theory in school!" Every time I heard my teacher start teaching about evolution, I waited for the magic words "Evolution is just a theory". I heard those words every time. It was my cue to tune out. It was never on the test anyway, why put something as ridiculous and unproved as a scientific theory on a test?

They didn't point out that gravity was also just a theory.

My faith had started falling apart. It was going quickly. My girlfriend at the time was the only thing holding it up.

This has gotten a bit long, so I think I will have to leave the rest for a third part.